Thanks to the overwhelming success of The Twilight Saga, getting a movie made in Hollywood is now easier than ever: Simply put the word “vampire” into the title of your screenplay, send it off to an agent, and then collect a massive paycheck. How else do you explain the existence of Vampire Dog, a movie which ten years ago—even at the height of the talking dog movie craze—would’ve sounded so stupid that had you tried pitching it to a studio, you would’ve been immediately escorted off the premises by security?

There’s been no shortage of bad movies this year (What to Expect When You’re Expecting, The Devil Inside, End of Watch, Battleship, Rock of Ages), but this looks like the worst of them all. Let’s hope that the protesters in the Middle East don’t find out about this thing, otherwise we could all be in some serious trouble.