If you don’t want the plot of Star Trek Into Darkness spoiled for you, don’t worry: the official synopsis that was released yesterday hardly reveals anything at all.

“In Summer 2013, pioneering director J.J. Abrams will deliver an explosive action thriller that takes Star Trek Into Darkness. When the crew of the Enterprise is called back home, they find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization has detonated the fleet and everything it stands for, leaving our world in a state of crisis.

With a personal score to settle, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction. As our heroes are propelled into an epic chess game of life and death, love will be challenged, friendships will be torn apart, and sacrifices must be made for the only family Kirk has left: his crew.”

You got all that? Not only will the movie be epic, it will be “an epic chess game.” And not just any epic chess game, but an “epic chess game of life and death.” In this epic chess game, three very general things will happen: “love will be challenged” and “friendships will be torn apart” and “sacrifices must be made.”

Anyone want to submit this to the Guinness Book of World Records to see if it breaks the record for most clichés in a single sentence? All that’s missing is a clause promising that “a hero will rise” and some “Burghhh burghhhhh burghhhh”‘s representing Hans Zimmer’s Inception score.

A nine-minute-long preview of the film will play in front of IMAX versions of The Hobbit in December. Hopefully it will be a bit more revealing.