Usually when a studio releases a clip from an upcoming movie, it’s because they think the clip is pretty good, and that it will persuade viewers to pay money to see the rest of the film.
Well, if the below clip from The Canyons is one of the better scenes from the movie, it could spell trouble. To put it simply, the clip is awful.
According to the infamous 7000 word account of the making of the film that ran in the New York Times last week, Lohan was a nightmare on the set. For her, a typical day would usually include some combination of the following: showing up late, popping pills and drinking in her dressing room, throwing temper tantrums, driving home drunk, and partying all night with Lady Gaga. One of the ironies of the piece was that James Deen, her porn star co-star, seemed far more professional and reliable.
And yet strangely, Lohan is probably the best thing about the new clip. What makes the clip so aggressively bad is director Paul Schrader’s clumsy attempt at generating suspense and James Deen’s wooden, porn star-quality acting.
The clip begins with Lohan waking up and trying to find her phone. She does this by dialling her number on the landline. But wait! On her way to the landline, she accidentally knocks over a water bottle! Oh no! Luckily, she manages to catch the bottle before it hits the ground. Schrader then cuts to a shot from Lohan’s point-of-view: James Deen still appears to be asleep. Whew! That was a close call! (Apparently it’s very important for her to not wake Deen up).
She then dials her number and lets the phone ring for what seems like forever. The phone is in the bedroom somewhere, but for some reason she isn’t able to determine where the sound is coming from. You’d think that someone paranoid about dropping a water battle would’t let the phone ring over and over again, but no. Lohan looks in a bedside cabinet: the phone isn’t there. She then dials her number again and lets the phone ring some more. Finally, she’s able to determine that the phone is in the other bedside cabinet. But by this point the incessant ringing of the phone has woken Deen up. He proceeds to grab her arm and yell at her in manner that does not recall the acting style of his namesake.
If the movie is supposed to be a camp comedy, mission accomplished. But if it’s supposed to be vaguely serious (which is what you’d expect from the director of the brilliant Affliction and Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters), something seems to have gone horribly wrong.
Warning: The clip contains excessive profanity.