Dying isn’t fun. In fact, it’s kind of a drag, and can really mess up your vacation plans. But if it’s time to meet your maker and you just so happen to be a character in a movie, you may as well go out in a super awesome badass kinda way. Just like these fine folks who are no longer with us…
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow – Bonnie and Clyde
Yep, our attractive young bank robbing n’er-do-wells have spent an entire movie causing trouble with their criminal shenanigans. And now in the final couple of minutes, just when the coast seems to be completely, totally, 100% crystal clear, things are about to get real. It all goes awry when our dynamic duo pulls over to the side of the road to help dear, sweet Mr. Moss fix a flat tire. To borrow a quote from fish-faced Admiral Ackbar in Return of the Jedi, “It’s a TRAP!”
Kane — Alien
Poor Kane seems to have eaten something that’s disagreed with him. Maybe it was the scampi? A poorly-cooked chicken and beef burrito? Canned asparugus gone awry? When you’re in space, the possibilities are limitless. Fortunately, the gang is on hand to help ol’ Kane out. Everything’s going to be fine, buddy — it’s probably just a touch of gas. Lie down on this table for a few minutes and you’ll feel better in no ti– OH GAWD OH GAWD OH GAWD!!
Maj. Kong — Dr. Strangelove
Don’t you hate when you’re trying to nuke a Russian ICBM complex back to the Stone Age and your fighter plane’s bomb bay doors won’t open? That’s the kind of day Major T. J. “King” Kong is having. And as we’ve all learned from our respective grandmothers, when you need something bombed right, you have to do it yourself. Which is why Kong makes his way down to the bowel of the aircraft and takes matters into his own hand. A little elbow grease, a dash of sticktoitiveness, and voila!
That dude from Scanners
Most classic movies tend to have an immediately recognizable iconic moment. In Die Hard, it’s when Bruce Willis crashes through the building’s window. In Office Space, it’s when the boys drive out to a field and beat the sauce out of the company’s printer. And in David Cronenberg’s Scanners, it’s when that dude from David Cronenberg’s Scanners gets his head blown into goo. We don’t know much about the guy. We don’t need to know much about the guy. We just know he’s the dude from Scanners, and he passes along this mortal coil in an astoundingly epic blow-uppy kinda way.
Pretty much everyone in the Final Destination movies
The Final Destination movies are like Beatles songs of awesome deaths. You can’t pick one favourite, or even five. You just have to love them all equally like your children. They’re Rube Goldberg machines of arse-kickingness — chock full of suspense, red herrings, misdirection, gore and surprise. Nobody survives in these flicks, and you don’t want them to. You can only pray they receive the most spectacular, over-the-top send-offs possible. And trust us, your prayers will be answered. Tenfold, baby.